i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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