I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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