Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
