I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
