I want to make a zoo with you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
