He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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