Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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