I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize