I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
