so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
