This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
