started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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