His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Life is so much better after having sex.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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