member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
