New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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