When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
