No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You peed on a flamingo?!?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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