Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
