Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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