Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
