Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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