"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
should my penis look like a turkey
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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