Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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