Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
a search helicopter?!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
