And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I need a beard to bite.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
