Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
