Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
