no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
do nipples grow back?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
