If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
