I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
