am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
