Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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