yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
