he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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