Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
