I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
