i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
