So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
