Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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