Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize