that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
