Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
