38 yer olds are good kisserssss
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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