Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
