It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
