All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
