You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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