We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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