does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
