yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
