that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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