So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
