Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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