john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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