I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
