I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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