Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
