Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do herpes really smell.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
