Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
