i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
