What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
