I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize