yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
