Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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