We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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