awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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