Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
