apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
should my penis look like a turkey
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
