the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
