Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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