the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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