so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
