i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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