i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
