Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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