In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
