yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
