Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
