I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
